i think my mom watched the whole time
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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