week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We got so high we made milksteak
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
