Don't you send me to vm
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize