I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
