What did we do last night that was yellow?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize