I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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