what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
