I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
