I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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