:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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