he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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