is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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