Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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