On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
