i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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