Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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