A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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