Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize