So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
