i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize