Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
