i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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