remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize