In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
