you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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