Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
