Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
