if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
