oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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