Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
