I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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