I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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