hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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