We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
