How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
