the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
