I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
