just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
