Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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