I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize