Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
smell my finger.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
