nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
