I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
