drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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