There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
