Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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