Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
