i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I think i got beer on your cat.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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