We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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