He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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