I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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