My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
