love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
