Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
MIDGETS
????
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
