It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
