Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My liver just had a heart attack.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize