WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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