In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
