My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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