Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
