Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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