Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
