Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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