I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize