covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
