are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
