I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
