if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
